When Wives Attack III

[Rimalder]

This is more of a question for the married gamers.

Sometimes real life happens and you have to log out with short notice to avoid the dreaded wife aggro. One of the aspects I enjoy of this game is if something comes up and I'm RvRing with a pick up group, it's no big deal to leave the game. However, if I'm doing a Blood/Bile or LV run, bailing out on my team at the drop of a hat might not be so easy.

My fiance has been somewhat tolerant of the game so long as I keep it down to a reasonable level of play. However, I did catch hell once doing a dungeon crawl for a few hours when she wanted me elsewhere, and one of my groupmates last night in Lost Vale sounded like he was having a similar experience.

Since "Not now, honey! I'm too busy killing people!" is not an appropriate response to your significant other, how have the married folk managed to arrange a suitable playing schedule?

[Rardac]

Havin' da liddle orcs in da howse meks it evun mo compikated!! :D


Best compromise I've come up with after several years of doing this is to schedule one or two dedicated nights a week where its understood I'll be playing (just like she gets her dedicated TV night), and then I can log on other nights when the whole household is asleep. <shrug> Seems to work.

One note: if you've got a newborn, warn your group up front and be prepared to drop out at a moments notice. The joys! <sigh>.

[Gisli]

Yes, those are basically the strategies that I use:
* Only do dungeon crawls and the like when you have a known block of free time, whether it is a dedicated night, the family is out, or it has otherwise been arranged so that you won't be interrupted.
* If you are "on call" for whatever reason, let your groupmates know.

[ellyiana]

Trust me its not just wife aggro. It can be husband aggro too:) Even if they have been in game in the past.

[Llyweln]

Also, unless its a spur of the moment dungeon run (which most LV ones arent ;)
See if ya can broker that time chunk.....

[Ooey]

Currently I am laid off so my play time is higher than normal, but normally I would only play at night when we had nothing to do or nothing planned. I also played on the weekends, more when my parents take our kids. My wife plays and has played since DAoC, she didn't do EQ, but she had a 50 and another that were mid RR in the game. She enjoys games just like I do, she is a hardcore PvPer. I mean, wow, just loves it. She did play WAR and has a high level runepriest, but when I decided to come to Dest., she went back to WoW. She doesn't like destruction... too evil for her she says, lol.

Compromise is the key I have found though, I think you're doing it correctly.

Also, we keep our date night. We try to spend a couple nights together, just us. When I am working I tend to play a couple nights a week and more on the weekends. I am a programmer so I am on the computer all day, I don't spend much time on it when I come home. Lately, as I get older, I come home and we're in bed by 9. My kids are asleep by 8:30 and I just relax in bed with tea and watch some sports. It's really what I enjoy during the weekday. I'm either in the mood to kill people, or watch sports.

[Vydor]

Good luck!! If you find something that works, please share :)

[Cillbo]

If your wife is reasonable and not just plain jealous, it's pretty easy to "earn game time". Rubbing her feet works for me! :D

[Aoann]

Or just get wives that game... O.o

[Tinnel]

Trust me its not just wife aggro. It can be husband aggro too:) Even if they have been in game in the past.


You ought to beat him into submission Elly. Then make him rvr!

[Kelan]

I have been pretty fortunate lately. My wife tends to want to play more than I do and is still loving Warhammer :).

[Haelle]

A combination of the above noted recommendations works for our household, where both of us game.

1. Set aside family time each week...no matter what, no gaming.
2. Set aside gaming time- I've found it's good to specify day and length of time online.
3. In case of game-real life time conflict...RL should always trump.

We have all 3 members of our household playing, so we've combined this into weekend morning playing for an hour or so on an oceanic server, so rvr action is decent :D

[Jalec]

If your wife is reasonable and not just plain jealous, it's pretty easy to "earn game time". Rubbing her feet works for me! :D

you rub his wife's feet?!?!

I do it absolutely wrong and just deal with the fallout as it comes... eh im stubborn. though in all fairness i did warn her long long ago :)

[Ooey]

I did this first, before she started gaming. She would hide my trackball mouse... yeah, I would get livid. I guess I learned though, and I did begin to respect her more. What can I say, I was young and stupid.

[Drakhon]

You play with a trackball?

[bisett]

we have family time and tv time with the kids also during the weekends in the day we spend with the kids goin to the zoo or other fieldtrips

[ellyiana]

You ought to beat him into submission Elly. Then make him rvr!
lol yeah but he sick and tired of games now. Actually he into some other game

[Ooey]

You play with a trackball?


Yeah, I have since I started DAoC (I literally went and bought DAoC and my upgraded computer with this mouse). I can't play with a regular mouse anymore. Only MMO's though, I still play shooters and such with a normal mouse. I still use the same mouse as it is ridiculously expensive right now because they discontinued it and it is arguably the best trackball mouse ever made. Bought it for 40 and it sells for over 100, sometimes near 200.

http://www.google.com/products/catalog?q=microsoft+trackball+optical&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&cid=4250123426356532448&ei=xCLOSbPAHZbglQeznsTXCQ&sa=X&oi=product_catalog_result&resnum=1&ct=result#ps-sellers

[Drakhon]

Do you use a more DAoC-esque control scheme than WAR's default, then? I play it largely like a shooter with the WASD+mouse look scheme and I can't see using a trackball for that.

I used a DAoC trial prior to WAR's release (didn't want to pay to reactivate my real account just to mess around a bit) and really didn't like the mouse buttons forward/back style default that I used way back when and going the same way as WoW/WAR, while possible, left something to be desired in that game.

[Ooey]

When I played DAoC I went to it from EQ which didn't have a mouselook that I used. I actually used the mouse just for clicking stuff, never moved around with it. I used the arrow keys, end was /face, and delete was follow. And the other keys I forget. As far as right now is concerned I use it like an FPS scheme. It actually works really well, the far right mouse button is jump, and the far left is auto-run. I dig it.

[Narg]

Narg play time in Warhammer = Work or After wife/kid are in bed asleep.

Narg sleep time = Old age removed.

[Warseth]

I believe we can manage succubus agro to some degree. The problems for most married I know is when the spouse doesn't play MMO's nor understand the depth or dedication at times it may take.

This is where conflicts come in. Even though I play when shes at work. When she comes home I greet her and talk about her day at work with her. She still when angry about something or just plain grumpy. The thing she attacks first is my gaming. Even if it hardly impacts our US time.

I drop gaming at a drop of a hat if she wants to go somewhere or simply hang out. I bend for her when she wants me to bend. What irritates me is using my hobby against me like I sinned or something for loving gaming. I've been playing since I was able to steal change from my dads ashtray to visit the local minimart to play Pac Man, Joust, and Dig Dug. Kinda hard to stop doing something thats been part of your joys since childhood.

I think time management is great idea ..but having a wife that understands gaming a even better plus to make things cool.

The guys with wives who never touched gaming like this. I think we will all have to deal with the nagging no matter what. Just dont add more fuel to the fire by mismanaging the time. Nothing much we can do. Rock and Hard Place.

[Trul]

Or your job can get you moved out of state from your significant other and while your at it not even tell her you started playing WAR. Then, when she calls to talk you can hop on WAR and haphazardly do scenarios and orvr while she talks about her day.

(looks both ways and prays to god she never finds this message board and figures out what my alter-ego's name is!!!)

In all seriousness I stopped doing that because I felt like a bad boyfriend. But sometimes you just gotta sit down and honestly tell her that you need man-time, and for you that means killing stunties online. At this point its just a matter of how you negotiate your play-time with your lady because she is definitely gonna have a say in the matter.

[Cambios]

Easiest solution is to do what I did:

Marry someone who likes to play MMOs.

Kallimina has 6 different healers on the server. 2 of each healing class. :P

[Vasan]

Even a zealot !?! =p

[Cambios]

Even a zealot !?! =p

2 zealots. :)

[joven]

Or marry someone you meet in an MMO. Wife and I met playing DAoC.

[Vasan]

Clearly she's not a person to be trifled with.

[Aoann]

Or marry someone you meet in an MMO. Wife and I met playing DAoC.


Can I laugh at you now? :)

I just find a spouse in a game amusing. I know it has happened to a lot of people. As long as it works for you both! :D

[Rimalder]

Oh, and don't fall into this trap during those quiet moments together. Always go with A1 or something similar.

Q: What are you thinking about?

A1: I was just thinking how beautiful you are.
A2: Well, I was trying to figure out a new spec for my Chosen.

[joven]

Oh, and don't fall into this trap during those quiet moments together. Always go with A1 or something similar.

Q: What are you thinking about?

A1: I was just thinking how beautiful you are.
A2: Well, I was trying to figure out a new spec for my Chosen.

I usually go with A2: which means I get beat a lot. :D

Oddly though my wife's pillow talk is often about the guild, guild members or new specs.

[Dall dies to much]

just date/bang you gank group's female healers... has worked well for me :th_woot:

but other issues arise... like getting yelled (a LOT) at when you don't feel like rvring for 2 days....

or yelling at each other when a fight goes bad and placing blame...



other issues arise, but thankfully I havn't had to deal with them, others have though. so watch what you are doing ;)

[Knight_Marshal]

Oh, and don't fall into this trap during those quiet moments together. Always go with A1 or something similar.

Q: What are you thinking about?

A1: I was just thinking how beautiful you are.
A2: Well, I was trying to figure out a new spec for my Chosen.

A3: I'm a guy. I don't think unless made to.

[ellyiana]

Or marry someone you meet in an MMO. Wife and I met playing DAoC.

Hehe that's exactly what happen to bomb and I:)